87% of mothers struggle with mom guilt every day.
Are you part of this club?
I really struggle with mom guilt. It’s a big problem for me and something I’ve had to work on a lot. For a while I tried to find ways to feel less guilty. Aaaand . . . that didn’t work. In fact, it just made things worse because whenever I found myself dealing with mom guilt, I would beat myself up for feeling guilty!
I had a breakthrough when I stopped trying to avoid guilt, and started changing my reaction to it. Now when mom guilt pops up for me, I make a conscious effort to move on despite that feeling. The guilt is there, but it’s not in the driver’s seat anymore.
There are a lot of things about mom life that are just hard. And there’s not a lot we can do to change that. But we’re smart and scrappy so we can find ways to work with what we have. And getting over mom-guilt is a very worthwhile endeavour; it will make you a happier, healthier person/
The first is that if you're struggling with guilty feelings a lot, it's probably because you care about being a great mom. And that's a good thing! But us moms with high expectations have to make a mental distinction between caring and feeling like crap. You can care about being a good mom, and strive to grow as a person and mother, and not have to feel crappy all the time. WHAT? Turns out feeling like crap about yourself DOESN'T make you a better mother.
The second thing is that mom-guilt isn't about you. Really. It's a nasty cultural thing that we do to all parents, but especially moms. The world is full of unrealistic expectations for you and how you parent (tiger mom vs. helicopter parent vs. free range kids, you can't win!). There's way too much 'advice' (ahem, judgement) in your face all the time that only stirs up self-doubt. And as a mom you're constantly forced to make tough compromises that put you and your kids in no-win situations (working mom syndrome is a perfect example of this).
So no wonder we're feeling guilty all the time. No wonder we feel like we're definitely messing our kids up. No wonder that little voice sneaks in every day to remind us that we're 'bad moms'. But we have to call BS on all of that and find ways to beat the guilt.
So here are three awesome, easy to implement hacks that I know will help you get out from under that heavy, wet blanket that is le guilt.
Enjoy motherhood with a little less guilt.